5 Game-Changing Tips for Boosting Your Confidence

This week, I’m sharing five tried-and-true tips for building confidence, the hilarious (and borderline tragic) realities of marathon training, and a mini-rant about wellness events that overpromise and under-deliver. Plus, my ongoing show crisis—please send help. Tune in for relatable stories, some tough love, and a reminder that confidence isn’t about being fearless; it’s about showing up anyway.

Transcript

  Hello, hello, and welcome to the next episode. I hope you guys are doing well and surviving the cold. This week has been Excruciatingly cold in Toronto. I don't even know how I survived there were days where I was literally dragging myself out of the house just because  I was thinking okay, if I don't leave now, i'm not gonna leave all day and this is not good There was one day when I was co working with a friend and I swear to God, I almost messaged her and cancelled and I was like, no, it's going to be good for you.

You just need to get there. You're gonna walk. It's only 20 minutes. You're gonna walk. You're gonna feel good. You're gonna spend time with your friend and I did it and I did feel good and it wasn't that bad and as soon as As soon as I was inside,  I was okay. So  Yeah, but this week is just a mess. It's so hard for me to get out of the house, and  it's actually crazy how little, how much the weather affects our motivation.

If I didn't have to put on layers  of clothing every time I need to leave my house, I would be doing so much more. I feel like I'm doing okay.  I could be doing so much more and that's kind of unfair. But also, I guess it teaches you to appreciate the summer in a new way. And honestly, it's almost, we're at the end of January.

So, in a month and a half,  maybe two months, it's gonna get so much better. So  Yeah, we're honestly not that far out from the weather getting better. Maybe I'm gonna  say different things in two weeks, but it feels kind of  like this winter passed by really fast. But anyway, I'm not here to talk about the weather.

You know what I'm here to talk about, the marathon, obviously. Don't worry. It's a week out.  So, I'm going to shut up about it very soon. Probably going to talk about it next week still, because I'm literally going to record a couple of days before. It's next Sunday, February 2nd. And this week I went back to running after my little, sort of an injury per se, after my nerve, pinched nerve situation.

I've been going to physio and like getting massages and all of that, and like relieving the tension. So, I'm feeling all right. There's still like a little bit of tension left, but  well what you're gonna do at this point, right? I'm gonna  I'm just gonna go and run and I'm not gonna be a bitch about it  You know what?

I mean? I've trained so much. I've put so much work in mentally I've done so much work to prepare for this. I have a game plan.  What's there left to do?  Worst case scenario, I think the only thing that can stop me is like pain. Tiredness is not gonna stop me. Mentally bored mental boredom, mental pressure, like whatever, it's not gonna stop me.

The only thing that can stop me is I is if I feel like I'm actively getting injured. And then I'm just gonna walk, and then it's gonna be fine. And yeah, well, this is me doing a little pep talk for myself because sometimes I get,  I feel like twofold about it. Part of me is like, okay, you can do it. People do it all the time and you've trained and you've prepared.

And part of me sometimes is like, what the hell are you doing?  But I know that once I'm done, A, I never ever have to run again. I will never ever train for anything this seriously, which makes me feel good because honestly the marathon training has been the most excruciating thing I've ever trained for and I don't have to do this ever again and B, I'm gonna feel so accomplished and it's gonna make all of it worth it.

Anyway,  I'm gonna shut up about it now because you're gonna hear a little more about it next week. I just ran 10k, which is my last long ish run before. I'm gonna do one more run next week. And then the most, for the most part next week, I'm not even allowed to move.  I have to be very careful. I cannot Do I cannot have anything happen to my body.

So it's gonna be a very chill week, but also kind of boring But I'm prepared. I'm prepared Anyway shutting up about this.  I want to vent a little bit about one thing that I did I went to this another wellness event. I'm not gonna say which one But let's say it was a collab of a brand with of like a fitness brand and a trainer and we did a Pilates workout. 

And  am just so perpetually unimpressed with the way, with the way events are marketed and held in the city.  It's actually crazy.  I get there, it's always marketed as like  Community based and find new friends and meet like minded women and then you get there and none of the connections None of the community stuff is facilitated.

So you get there and you're like on your own Nobody's talking to each other people who are organizing it. They're not mingling They're like mean girls like staying together not talking to anybody and then the workout was just a mess there was around 30 people there and The instructor didn't have a mic so I could barely hear what she was saying I could barely see what she was doing because she was in the front and I was like in the third or fourth row and Half of the time I couldn't even figure out what we're doing and then after all  after everything after we were done  Okay in the middle of me venting my mic died.

So I'm just recording this on my phone, but hopefully it's fine Yeah, so when we were done All everybody cared about was taking a cute photo to, I assume, be posted on social media and brag about how good of a turnout they got, and I was honestly so pissed off. Like, I'm not doing it to go to somewhere that is not convenient for me.

And in the morning for a subpar Pilates class. I don't need a subpar Pilates class. I can train myself very well. I can go to my gym that is amazing, or I can go to any Pilates studio that I go to and get an amazing class that is actually challenging, that is actually fun. Why I'm going to these events and  that are marketed that way.

I'm going for the community aspect. I want to meet women. I want it to be facilitated. I want people to talk to each other.  I don't want the organizers to be mean girls and just talk to each other and not acknowledge anyone else.  Then don't market your event as a community, market it as a Pilates class. I just, I was so pissed.

But wait you guys, wait till I launch my own events. I promise I will do my best to not be like this, I swear to God. I was so pissed, and,  like, I don't need  a cute selfie. I don't need a discount to shop at a store. I don't need a goodie bag. Yeah, it's fun stuff, but, again, community is what I value most. and I haven't been able to get it anywhere.

So yeah, it is just like really annoying. Anyway,  today I want to talk about something that is, that I'm  being asked a lot, is to how to be confident in yourself.  And I think I have solid five tips how to do it. And the first one is to do something that people generally stay, say they can't.  For me, it's mostly related to My physical fitness, but also I want to expand because I've been I feel like it's in a way even though I do Uncomfortable things in that realm all the time It's sort of become my comfort zone because I feel confident that I can and I'm in a pretty good position and shape to Do all of these things, but anyway people generally say oh like there is no way I can run like 10k There is no way I can run a marathon There is no way I can do high rocks and this is like the general consensus because most people can't let's be let's be real, right? 

And  at least, like, not without training, right? So, currently, most people are not in the shape to do, let's say, high rocks, right? But,  when you do things that are generally considered hard, you sort of you sort of get off on yourself being cool. Because even when you're running, you see people watching you and cheering you on.

And they are standing there and they're thinking this is so cool. I wish I could do this or I want to do this or I'm gonna do this but you are here in this moment doing it and this is such a flex honestly and you're on such a high after you after you  stop doing it. And it can be anything, anything you're passionate about.

Like my thing is fitness, right? Maybe it could be something like speaking at a conference. Maybe it will be like hosting an event. Something that people generally think is hard or even not doable and you doing it will give you such confidence. Second thing is Acknowledging your progress along the way, even today, I, I'm so sorry guys that all my examples are about running, but I swear to God, I'm going to shut up about it once I'm done.

It's just, it consumes so much of my life right now that these are the examples that pop up in my head immediately. I swear to God, I don't mean to be like an obnoxious person about it. But for example, today I was running 10k and it takes me around an hour to do that. And.  And I realized that, wow, I've been running for an hour, even though I've done much longer runs, and it's not that impressive, and like, it's actually cool how, like, a 10k is just a casual, like, almost a day off run  right now, and  thought, wow, this is still cool.

Like even a year ago this would have been like not a challenge, but this would have been annoying and now it's not It's just whatever you like casually go and run 10k and people train for this too. And even though Relative to what I've done.  It's not a big deal. I just wanted to acknowledge this and Feel good about myself  And  just be grateful for my body and what it does and for being healthy and in position to do that So even though it's not You in other words, don't just celebrate your biggest wins celebrate all of your wins And just be proud of yourself a little.

That's totally fine to do that. The third thing that will  increase your self esteem is keeping promises to yourself. Think about a person that you know that never keeps their promises.  Say they say, Oh, I'm gonna like get my driver's license. I'm gonna go travel. I'm gonna save money and like buy a car.

I'm gonna like, again, like do some like competition, whatever. And then they don't. What do you think of that person you think do you have respect for them? Maybe like you don't actively disrespect them, but you kind of think that they're full of shit. Yeah They're just like  all talk and no action.  Do you like admire this person?

Do you want to be this person? do you want to have them in your life not really right because they are full of shit and  the same happens to You, yourself, when you don't keep promises that you give to yourself, you're saying, I'm going to start waking up earlier, I'm going to start going to bed earlier, I'm going to read more, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm not going to go into the aspect of like,  make sure this is the goal that is worth pursuing and you're really, it's really authentic to you, that's a different conversation.

Let's say it is an authentic goal that is worth pursuing  and you don't do these things, you're going to think of yourself that you're full of shit and it's really hard to respect a person like this. It's really really hard. So the more promises you keep to yourself, the more you're gonna know that, yeah, if I said so, it's fucking gonna happen. 

You bet your ass it's gonna happen. And then people are gonna respect you more, because they know you're a person of your word. And you will know that about yourself. And that is gonna  make your self respect and self esteem skyrocket.  Thing number four that you need to do to increase your self esteem is do things that scare you.

And this is different from the first part that  From the first point that is doing something that people generally say they can't do or find impressive this this could be a stupid shit that just makes you scared  and Makes you feel like you've accomplished something for me. It's always It's not that it scares me.

It just takes It scares me a little, not to the point where it's paralyzing anymore, but it still takes away my energy. It's like going to a party where I don't know anyone, just the host. And I, it obviously comes from high school and like bullying and all, like whatever. We're not gonna get into that. I'm not gonna open that door now. 

But let's, like last week, I was invited to a baby shower. And it's a baby shower with a friend that,  In a group, that I have in a group, and  it's not a super close friend, but we are like, pretty friendly, but none of my other friends who know them could make it, so, and I really wanted to do it because it's a nice gesture, and again, like, you guys know how much I prioritize my friendships, and I just wanted to do that, and I was, I said, well, I didn't even have to make up an excuse, I did have something, like, after, so that made it that way that I could only stay for an hour and a half, Which could still be a long time if you're not having fun.

If you're actively not having fun, it could be a very long time. And I kind of made the promise to myself, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna give it a try. Worst case scenario, I'm only there for an hour and a half. But the energy it took out of me. I literally like,  sometimes I would think about it like while going to bed.

I'm like, Oh my God, I have to do this. This is so annoying. Why am I so anxious? It's not annoying to do that, but it's annoying how much of my mental space it occupied. And then I went and I had a great time and I always end up having a perfectly fine time. Yeah. Sometimes it's not like the best time of my life, but it's never horrible.

It's never like it was in high school anymore. Honestly, never. And  yeah. So I did something that scared me a little bit and then I was like, okay, it wasn't that bad and that way I'm like, okay. I've overcome this challenge. I socialized today socializing is a big thing for me. I It needs, I need like prep, prep time to go and socialize, especially with people I don't know because I'm such an introvert.

But it always ends up being fine. And the more I do these things that scare me, the better I think about myself. And the more I know that I'm not full of shit. It ties in well with the previous stuff. If you said you're gonna go, just go. You can  stay for 30 minutes, stay for 10 if that's something that you struggle with.

If before you stayed for 5, today stay for 10. As long as you're growing, as long as you're doing something, as long as you are doing something that scares you and overcoming it, your self esteem is going to skyrocket. And the last thing that I want to mention is setting boundaries.  People who set boundaries are badass, I swear to God.

They own who they are. And they are unapologetic about it. For example,  today I went to You guys have probably heard about it, the coffee party. Which is a pretty cool concept, not gonna lie. It's a little loud to my taste, because I generally don't like clubbing, but yeah, pretty cool concept for people who are generally trying to be healthy, don't like going to bed late, don't like drinking, but still wanna socialize and be like in a club environment.

Anyway, yeah, I had a pretty good time, but I know I don't like clubs. And my friends wanted to stay longer. They wanted to stay,  like they wanted to stay indefinitely. So it ended up being until Until the end, then it's still the end, but they didn't have a cutoff time. And I knew that for me, handling more than two hours of that, it's not gonna be fun.

So I set the boundary. It was like, guys, I'm gonna leave in two hours.  And,  you know, and your true friends are going to respect that. And my friends know that about me. And they're like, okay, cool. Just come, like, If you don't even want to stay two hours, don't stay two hours. Just come say hi, hang out a little bit.

If you're tired, if you're overwhelmed, overstimulated, just leave whenever you want. And I did that. And they didn't end up staying much longer, but I said I was going to stay for two hours. I stayed for two hours and 10 minutes because I genuinely like had a good time. The last 30 minutes were whatever.  I was kind of ready to go, but I also like didn't mind staying a little bit.

So it ended up being perfectly fine.  Liked that before I would have been miserable and not set aboard. I would just have stayed there and I would be hiding my feelings, I would be hiding my frustration and pretending to have fun. And now I know that I'm only gonna stay as long as I want. And that's fine.

And if people make fun of this, make fun of you for this, or if they try to, they don't understand it, they try to make you feel bad, then they're not your people.  True friendships are built on mutual respect. Any relationships are built on mutual respect. That, that is,  that is demonstrated through respecting each other's boundaries.

And my friends respect my boundaries and I'm very happy to say that. Anyway, these are the five things. Just to recap, do something that people generally say they can't do.  Acknowledge your wins along the way, even if it's not your biggest win. Keep promises to yourself. Do things that scare you and set boundaries and I'm gonna start wrapping up.

 Am in a bit of a crisis Regarding shows right now. So I watched love is blind Germany, which was a roller coaster, but it's kind of fun I really recommend it if you guys needs like a need like a filler show the only problem is that you have to read because they have subtitles and I prefer to like watching the original language because It's just like, I perceive it better that way, and I connect with people better that way.

So, yeah. I do speak German, but I'm forgetting a lot of it, so I still need to read. And, yeah, that's the only downside, but that show is a rollercoaster. So, it's pretty fun. And then, I, I'm in  If you have any shows that are kind of like, tell me lies, or maybe like, I really like The Bold Type, I really like Younger.

I watched all of these popular shows, so now I need like Some shows that nobody knows about because I'm running out of options. I started watching Revenge  Because I heard people saying it was fun and nice and like engaging and it feels very like 2000s for me I don't know. I have trouble. I have trouble connecting with the With the characters and it feels it's one of those shows where there was a lot of filler scenes because it's  a show where every episode is 40 something minutes and it's 22 episodes per season and then it's, there's like multiple seasons.

So there's a lot of filler, fillers, and I genuinely don't like that. I think, I think like we're switching out of that culture and the shows are very dense now but we have more quality rather than quantity and long, less, less episodes and they're very dense and every scene is more meaningful and I kind of prefer it that way  But yeah, i'm having trouble with i'm kind of playing have it playing in the background Now and then but i'm not fully fully into it.

So if you have show recos I am  I will be eternally grateful And i'm gonna wrap it up here  and see you in the next episode. Thanks for listening