What 2024 Taught Me About Life, Love, and Loneliness

In this episode, I share my hard-earned lessons from 2024, reflecting on everything from learning to embrace loneliness to why foundational health—both physical and mental—is the ultimate flex. Plus, I get candid about marathon training struggles (hello, overstrained foot!) and my hot take on cycling classes (spoiler: not impressed). Whether you're chasing your goals or just trying to enjoy your own company, there's something here for you.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the new episode of not now it's me time.  It is Saturday night as usual January 11th, and I'm recording it  sitting in my chair and icing my foot Because the worst has happened my worst nightmare I can't run anymore because I was I basically like Overstrained my foot and now I have to take a break And I'm very sad because it disrupts my marathon training, which is obviously, as somebody who's running for a marathon, I have to mention. Yeah, it came to a point where it's just really sad because I feel like endurance wise I'm there, muscle strength wise I'm there, mentally I'm there, but just because I don't train my feet muscle and my ankle muscles as much,  they are the ones that kind of gave out. And I'm very sad, but now the choice is do I keep training and end up like through the pain and potentially end up like injuring myself, or do I just take a break, see how I feel.

And I still have more than three weeks, so  I probably can still run, and I will be able to run, and I'll deal with the consequences later. If anything, after the marathon, I can rest all I want, and I don't have to do cardio anymore. Yeah, it came to a point where I'm just trying to take it slow. This week, I think I ran on  Tuesday.

It seems it feels like I haven't run in a while, but I haven't run in three days. It just has been such a big part of my life that I don't even, yeah, it feels like I haven't done it in a long time. So I ran on Tuesday and I think I did 6K and I have this burning sensation up my ankle, which is terrible.

Probably a tendon inflammation from the research that I've done online. I'll try to go to a physio next week and see how it feels, but yeah,  hopefully it goes away. It's already better,  but when I over strain it, I sometimes still feel it. But again, like I have three weeks to recover, so hopefully it's all good.

And I'm still intending to run. I just, I gave up my time goal. My goal is now to just finish. And if I have to walk a little bit i'll walk yeah, I just want to finish at this point and Just because I don't want my training to be all for nothing and I feel like this is an experience that everybody needs to have And after that I swear to god i'm never training for a race ever again for running race because it's just been like a lot.

I can see myself doing a half marathon here and there just because I know I can and obviously I'll pay more attention to maybe like rehabilitation exercises and strengthening my ankle and feet muscles. I can totally see myself doing a 10k, but a full marathon, like no, hopefully I can do this one still.

But yeah, so I'm sitting here icing my foot. It's been like a quiet week because I feel like people are still coming back from vacations, from holidays, so  nothing much has been happening. I've been very immersed over the holidays in the Akatar  and I ended up, I'm finishing, I'm probably going to finish today.

The last book and  feel like the last book in terms of spice That's what everybody's been talking about because I really don't see anything Super spicy is just like more like flirty insinuations in the previous books But this one is full on  Which is what I expected I guess from the first one, but at some point it even got too much It was like just stop enough and also like I feel like Nesta was absolutely insufferable In the first like third of the book  now, it's like better now that she's healed she opens up So she's like better but the yeah the first half like third not half She was absolutely insufferable and I just I even considered stopping but I was like, okay I went through four books.

I might as well just finish also like the fourth book I don't for the love of me. I don't know their names. It will sound the same to me Frozen something The Court, A Court of Frozen, I don't know. Anyway, where the whole book is like them just like picking Christmas presents for each other. I'm like, what's the point of this?

You could have included this, all of this, in the fifth one. Or the previous one, I don't know. Seemed like useless to me. I still don't quite understand the obsession. But I admit how it's entertaining and it flows quite well. And the writing is not, Completely horrendous, I do think it's still not very good, but it's good enough for me to be able to get through it, and yeah, it's entertaining enough, and now the story got pretty entertaining at first, at least in the last one, because in the beginning I didn't really get what was going on. 

But yeah, so that was like my holiday activity and i'm probably gonna finish today I listened I ended up listening to all of them, which I did not expect because one I Obviously listen on double speed but like the fifth book is like 26 hours. So it took me like Over a week to finish but I only have like now we're in 20 minutes left So I'm pretty sure I'm gonna finish tonight.

But yeah, this is what I've been up to and  Yeah, now I have to I'm doing like cycling classes Also, please if you do cycling for the love of God, tell me how you get through it There's these classes are so boring just because I have to do cardio now and it has to be low impact I can't run  I have to do something But cycling is so boring.

I can't I don't know. I don't like EDM that they're playing. , and I even tried like a pop  Thursday class, so they were all playing like mostly pop songs. Even then, I'm just so bored. So please tell me, is there like a secret how to get through it or is it just like running? Because at first I hated it and now I understand how to get through it.

Maybe I just need to, I just need more practice, more time. But yeah. If it, I even did Stairmaster today. Even though I'm very opposed to hours on the Stairmaster, but again I have to. I can't run. And it was not as bad as cycling is, but Yeah, but cycling classes is something I can Classes is something that motivates me to do cardio more.

Otherwise, I just won't so it is what it is for the moment But please I need advice On how to get through the classes or like maybe which types of classes are better or where you go because I am bored out of my mind and i'm like zero motivated and also like my butt hurts. How do you sit after? It's literally unbearable.

I did two in a row, two days in a row, and on the second day I was just dying. I had to put a towel underneath just to be able to like to go through it and It's still was very unpleasant. So I'm doing one again tomorrow. Hopefully like it's been two days I haven't done one in two days. So we'll see how that goes.

But yeah, I don't know not impressed so far  But it is what it is. I can't lose my I want to not even lose. I want to still improve my cardio so yeah, let's see how that goes and Today I also want to talk about My five lessons that I learned in 2024 and feel like this is my last chance to like Jump on the bandwagon because the year is officially over.

We're almost two weeks in which is crazy and It always makes me think how like in three months. It's my birthday. So another year went by And where i'm at and in terms of my goals and all of that which is interesting I do have a vision for this year, which is growing this community more Transition to having eye relevance growing my newsletter and all of that and hopefully moving hopefully, Transitioning to a different position at work getting a raise all of that.

But Still, every year, I'm like, I'm not where I thought I would be. I'm not where I want to be. And  feel like I have a lot of blocks with that. Because there's something that's holding me back, right? I am moving in the right direction. Not as fast as I want to.  But maybe like it's a problem that everybody has. 

That we want things very fast and we want things right here and right now, and we just need to be patient, which I am, but also, I also have this thing where physically I know how to push myself and I'm very good at it, and I'm motivated by it, and I know I can do anything but mentally or when it comes to my creativity, I rely a lot on motivation and inspiration, and I know it's not the best.

Because even with working out, if you compare, do I feel inspired and motivated? And do I look forward to working out? Hardly ever. I mostly get into it as I go, or I don't think about it. I don't negotiate with myself and I do it. And when it comes to my creative pursuits and growing my account and like building my community, I always rely on inspiration.

And if I don't feel inspired, I feel.  Don't do anything. I feel like I don't do anything. And  think it's time to be like rougher with myself in a way. Because discipline is everything. And if I know anything about this life, it's that discipline can get you anywhere. But I'm not disciplined enough.

That's why I'm not where I want to be, I feel like. And yeah, this is just something that has been on my mind.  So I do have a vision for this year that hopefully comes to life and we'll see how that goes. But yeah, let me talk about the lessons that I learned from 2024, which mostly have to do with being comfortable with your own company, being comfortable on your own and gaining that confidence and trust in the universe to give you what you need.

Need and deserve and want  without you rushing it or expecting it to happen on certain timeline Which now that I think about it ties in very well with what I just said  there is no rush and the events in your life unfold how they need to unfold  and you just can take a line action and trust that  In the end, you're going to get whatever you want and not try to stop being affected by things that outside of your control and not try to control everything and just.

In a way just do what feels aligned to you. Anyway,  let's just get to the lessons So the first lesson that I learned in 2024 is that  people that you love Need to know that you love them.  I Prioritize my relationships a lot and I feel like I talk about it a lot how I don't have family here I don't have any siblings.

So My friends are my everything And I want to make sure that the people that I love that mean a lot to me know that.  And it's not always reciprocated and they cannot always return it on the same level. If they, let's say, they have partners, kids, maybe big family responsibilities, they cannot prioritize me.

Exactly the same way I prioritize them, but I expect them to prioritize me to the best of their ability But I do it I show them my love and I do everything I can for them not because I expect anything back But because I want to and I don't want any regrets in my life that I wasn't  like a full on great friend to the people I truly love  and Let them reciprocate and in the way that they see fit, and in the way that they can,  and if it's not satisfying to me anymore, and if I'm not getting enough, I can adjust my output, but in the meantime, if I know they love me and they're doing their best, I'm going to show them my love as much as I can because there is nothing as important as close relationships in life. 

And I value presence, like everyday presence in my life a lot. And even if I think about some of my friends  on a day to day basis, I just shoot them a message. And I say, Hey, I was just thinking about you. How are you doing? Or this reminded me of you. And this is so nice. And I think this is a thing that is really underestimated. 

And a lot of people don't understand  for people who are single and live alone a message like this can make their day honestly and  meet myself included sometimes it gets very lonely and  sometimes you start  You get sad, even if I know that there is people who love me and I do my affirmations and all of that.

Sometimes you do get sad, because it feels like everybody has other priorities and you are no one's priority. And sometimes getting a message saying, hey, thinking about you hey, what do you think about this? Just asking a simple questions. Just letting me know that I'm on your mind. This is yeah This is invaluable and I know for a fact that I'm not the only person who feels this way So if you are in a relationship or if you have a big family and you feel like it occupies all your time But you also have a single friend who maybe lives alone. 

Just try to try to Let them know that they matter and you love them more often Trust mates  It does wonders and it literally can change the trajectory of my day If I get a message like this not that i'm fully reliant on other people to make me feel good But you know what? There's only so much you can do to Self soothe and make you yourself feel good.

But sometimes it's nice to have a little pick me up So yeah, and this is my absolute priority. My close friendships are my absolute number one priority And I need to make sure that people that I love know that. So this is, and there is nothing, again, if they are not reciprocating in the way that you want them to reciprocate, that's fine. 

But, and you can adjust what you are doing,  but as long as it's,  it doesn't have to be reciprocated in the exact same way, but you need to feel fulfilled by it. And as long as you feel fulfilled by it, they need to know that you love them because you're going to regret if you don't tell them.  Lesson number two that I learned in 2024 is that the more you work on yourself, the lonelier it gets.

And this is something that  I don't mean to be like arrogant and be like all those like finance bros and Millionaire and entrepreneurs being like, oh it gets lonely at the top Not like that, but also yes like that Because the more self aware you become the more you work on yourself the more  Work you do physically and mentally and emotionally the more you work on your relationships the more the less bullshit You're willing to take  and for me emotional intelligence empathy and good communication Are just our must and it's not something I'm willing to compromise on where with family whether with friends whether in a romantic relationship This is  a bare minimum that needs to happen for me to even consider Having you in my life because if I can't communicate with you if you blow up at me if you're not self aware You cannot acknowledge What you did wrong.

You don't understand why you are behaving this way. What are we talking about? I  pride myself on like my self awareness and I feel like this is how What everybody should pay attention to because this is number one thing I know we all have trauma and we are not perfect including myself least of all myself  I have so many emotional reactions.

I have I know sometimes I'm irrational all of this happens to me, but at least I know how to explain this I know why this happens and I'm willing to accept and admit when I'm  Not being rational and I'm being a little crazy and I can explain it and I can own up to it and I can apologize and I think that goes a long way and the more you do that The less people you see that have done the equal amount of work, but it's if you've done statistics, it's like normal distribution, right?

So most people are gonna be somewhere in the middle. So there was they're somewhat self aware, but not really and The closer you get to let's say like it's a scale from 1 to 10 the closer to 10 you get The less people are gonna be on the same level as you and it gets lonelier because you just see You Bad communicators,  lack of emotional intelligence, and you just don't want these people in your life.

And this is not to say they're bad people or they're not worthy or whatever. They're just on a different life path and they still have  lot of steps to do to get to that level. Not that they are, they're perfectly capable of getting to that level. They're just not where you are. And you just  Don't want to  you just want to interact more with people who have done an equal amount of work or more because this is inspiring this is motivating and this is just easier  because I personally don't want to educate people on how to communicate and If you're not willing to meet me where I am, I'm sorry that I may be we are not supposed to be in each other's lives So yeah And it does get lonelier the more you the more work you do and the more achievements you have under your belt You  And this is something to be, you need to be prepared for if you're something that is a high achiever and is constantly working on themselves and have, has goals and dreams.

And I've found  a great peace in that because I am confident and I know what I want.  And  if we are not aligned, then we are not aligned. And I don't need to have people in my life who are in my life because I'm lonely or needy or I Just need company and I don't know how to be with myself I have people in my life who are there because  it is a fulfilling mutually respectful Equal relationship and yeah, this is another lesson that I learned lesson number three is

Pushing yourself physically is a great way to be more confident It's a great way to discover who you are and it's a great way to also level up mentally. For me, physical challenges, you know how I'm all about working out and Lifting weights and all of that and this has been my lifestyle for over 10 years now But this year meaning 2024 i've pushed myself a lot physically.

I ran my first half marathon I did my first high rocks. I Took my dancing to a new level  and  Training for something like this and practicing and getting better at certain skills  Makes you feel so good about yourself. You honestly like i've never felt such a high weight As I did after completing all these physical challenges And then it makes you also it also makes you realize that You're not willing to put up with people's bullshit because you're just like you're a fatty You know what?

I mean after like after I ran half a marathon I was thinking, why would I compromise on anything in my life that is not at my level? Why would I, if I can do it, it means like other people can do it. And I want to be surrounded by high achievers, by, in, if you're into manifestation, it's called expanders, right? 

People who expand my horizons, people who, Make me dream big people who inspire me and this is what I want And I want to be an inspiration to my friends as well. And I know that I am just as much as they are to me And yeah, it gives you such a perspective on life and it makes you feel like you're capable of anything And riding that high has been so fun And now again, provided that my foot is fine and I can run a full marathon I don't even know what i'm gonna feel because this would feel like Such like much of a bigger achievement than half because I didn't train for half.

I just did it  But this one I actually trained for and this is objectively so so so hard  And  yeah, I don't even know how i'm gonna fit how i'm gonna feel and i'm excited about this But yeah pushing yourself physically getting stronger getting fitter  Loving your reflection in the mirror more and more. 

It also helps you level up mentally because you also want to be, if you're on that level physically, you also want to be on the same level emotionally and it pushes you to do mental work as well. And I think it's a great gateway. into self work, pushing yourself physically. So if you can sign up for a challenge, or maybe like a race, or maybe like even like running 10k.

If you don't run, if you don't exercise, this is a huge goal. And you're going to be so impressed with yourself. And it also helps you develop trust within yourself. Because, You gain this experience and it gives you confidence to pursue other goals as well.  And finally, lesson number four that I learned this year is as long as I have my physical and mental health I can be relatively happy.

And I can be at the level of happiness that I can sustain and yeah, I can live like this my whole life. So I guess bottom line here is health is everything and you need to take care of it because as we're all like young I assume my audience is anywhere between according to TikTok anywhere between 18 and 35 roughly so we're all young and we still have our health and It's so important to not take it for granted even now when i'm like my foot hurts after running It's such a small thing, but it impacts my life so much and it's really annoying And I think we're all putting a lot of emphasis on how we look And how we look on the outside what other people think of us and we don't put enough effort into this foundational work within ourselves that will get us through life successfully. 

For we don't have, like speaking  for myself, I don't have the foundation of like ankle and foot stability.  This is like a very basic example, right? that will carry me through a marathon. I don't have it right now.  I will have it because I'm going to work on it now, but I don't have it now. And if I don't have this foundation, all of my goals just crumble.

If I injure myself to a point where I cannot exercise,  My whole life is gonna crumble my whole structure that I built around being active and working out my whole personality My whole lifestyle is gonna crumble. So without this foundation and who cares if I have ankle stability, I cannot flaunt it on Instagram It's not cool to do like heel raise.

Yeah heel raises. It's not cool to foam roll for an hour It's not as impressive as running a marathon. It's not as impressive as lifting 150 pounds But it's the foundation that is important and it's gonna carry you through your whole life When you are 65 or 70, this is what's gonna matter It's not gonna matter that you could,  I don't know, Bulgarian split squat with 100 pounds in each hand.

You know what I mean? Prioritizing that, and also not the optics, but the actual work that you're doing, is so important. And the mental equivalent would be, being comfortable on your own and just embracing your loneliness. And reframing it. This is so important because bottom line, we're always on our own.

We can't have family, we can't have friends, we can't have romantic partners, but we go through this life alone and there is no guarantee that another person will stay with us for the rest of our lives. There is no guarantee because things happen. And You have to get to the level where you have so much self respect and self trust and self love so you enjoy your own company and you feel confident you can get through everything and this can only happen if you have the foundation of mental health  that you've been building for years and Basically what I figured out is as long as I have that people can come and go Challenges can present themselves  work can be difficult relationships can be difficult You But I can get through it as long as I have my physical and mental health.

So  This year is even more so about building a foundation That's why i'm doing pilates and lagrimor because it helps with stability Which is important for lifting which is important for daily functioning I'm gonna i'm starting doing flexibility classes where we do stupid stuff Like again, like you're standing on a yoga block and you're swinging the other leg and you're training your stability.

It's not cool You And it's not fun, and it's not impressive, but it's important. And  this is, I just want to be more mindful about what I do and why I do things. And think less about the optics, and think more about practicality and long term gain. And I think I'm gonna end it here. I hope you enjoyed the, this episode.

I think these are very important lessons for me. And  I hope I'm not too late with them. I feel like January 27th Sorry, why did I say 27? January 11th is borderline the last day when I can do it because my next episode is gonna come out on January 19th, and  this is just too late. Anyway, I'm gonna stop now.

This is a bit of a longer episode, but I really like talking about the lessons that I learned. Thank you for listening, and I'll catch you in the next episode.