Why Overthinking is Just a Bad Habit—and 5 Best Tips to Break It

Welcome to the first episode of 2025! This week, I’m getting real about overthinking—how it sneaks into our lives, why it’s a total time thief, and the CBT-inspired techniques I’ve been using to kick it out of my head. Whether it’s overanalyzing a situationship, replaying old convos, or just obsessing over things that don’t matter, I’ve got you covered. Plus, I’m sharing updates on marathon training (my feet are protesting), a chaotic yet fabulous New York trip, and why I’ll never run outside in Toronto winter again. Grab a coffee and let’s dive in!

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the first episode of 2025. Can you believe it? I'm kind of  sad that the holiday season is over because it's been so relaxing. I didn't take any time off, but most of my team did. So it was very chill,  not not crazy at all during the holidays. So I'm recording this on a Saturday night, so Monday, it's back to like full speed.

And everything that we planned for in November, December for 2025, now it actually has to be implemented. So part of me is excited because I'm excited to get going. I don't like relaxing too much. And part of me is also oh.  Again, and I don't know when the next time will be when I'll get an opportunity to relax like this because it's been really nice and All of my trips that I plan for this year are for something like for example next time I'll be traveling will be in almost a month for the Miami marathon Which I hopefully can make which is another thing that I want to talk about and then after that I am going to Miami again To do High Rocks, which I have not even started training for.

I will start after I run the marathon. And after that, yeah, after that I'm planning a trip to Europe, but nothing is set in stone yet. So yeah, and that, even if I go, that will be months from now, probably  May, June. Yeah, it's a bit up in the air. And part of me wants to just keep relaxing, but also I know it's not good for me.

And I feel I would, I felt like I would get so much more done during these couple of weeks.  For personal stuff, for my social media, for my personal social media. And I haven't. And that's a paradox that I always face. Kind of how  if you have a lot of free time you don't end up getting anything done But if you don't have much time you kind of squeeze a lot of things in and you end up being so productive So I think  going back to full on  working Work mode is gonna be helpful, and it's gonna put me in a very productive mode, but I needed this.

I definitely needed a couple of quiet weeks, and now I'm, yeah, I'm ready. Running has been driving me crazy, let me tell you. I'm not a runner. And it's funny how the only thing that fails me during my runs is my feet. And that's the only thing that I'm not specifically training, right? And you have to if you're a runner.

Your tendons and the muscles in your feet and like all the joints.  This is what gets affected because it's relatively High impact, especially when you don't normally run. I walk a lot and I lift as you know But I don't specifically run and like endurance wise i'm fine and muscle strength wise i'm also fine But my feet are failing me  I have been running a lot i've been doing around 50k per week  Which I know for like seasoned runners is probably not that crazy.

But for somebody who doesn't run It's kind of a lot and one of the runs is You a long run. And it's been progressively increasing. And actually on January 1st, I don't know, some of you might have seen it on my Instagram. I did 24k outside, which is also, which is not only the longest distance I've ever run, but also the longest distance I've ever run outside.

So I basically ran all the way up to Yonge and Eglinton and back. And I underestimated myself a little bit because endurance wise, it was so fine.  And I even had fun during probably the first 12k, but my problem with running outside is that it's just disgusting. If you live in Toronto, it's disgusting.

The weather was not the worst, at least it wasn't super cold. But that at some point, it was like 3 degrees, but at some point it started snowing and the wind was pretty strong. And I just wanted to cry at some point, not because I couldn't run. I could because of the weather i'm never ever running outside again Problem was that it was january 1st and everything was closed So even if I did want to go to the gym, I probably could have gone to my condo gym, but this is my least preferred option  I would probably prefer run running outside than in my condo gym because it's insanely boring and the treadmills is also Are also not the best so yeah, and I was running outside and at some point I wanted to cry because You I all I could think about is that i'm getting sick i'm getting sick because when i'm sweaty and it's cold outside It's just like my least favorite sensation.

I know some people enjoy it and they enjoy running in the cold It's not me. It's I know it's a hot take but treadmill is just so superior in my opinion You're just comfortable and I know it's a different mechanic And you run differently when you run outside But at this point, I don't care, like just running outside in Toronto in the winter is not a vibe.

And from now on, I'm doing all of my long runs  inside and I don't care. And I told my coach and I don't have a super fast goal I will just run at a pace that is comfortable for me But yeah,  and since then let me tell you my feet haven't been the same as January 4th now I mean I would did go on another 10k run, but yeah I am on a rest now and this week is a deload week.

So I'm only going I'm only doing short runs. But yeah basically everything is very tender and it's very like my feet just need rest and I'm fine with that. It's just interesting how the only part of my body that I don't specifically train is failing me and I hate that and it's kind of scary because 24k is roughly like  a little over half of what I actually have to run and I don't want to injure myself and I know I can handle it physically and  Stamina wise, but I don't want to injure my feet and it makes me a little scared not gonna lie But at least it's gonna be warm.

It's gonna be disgustingly warm in Miami and that makes me really happy. And Yeah, we'll see how it is. I'll take it slow this week. And yeah, hopefully it's gonna be okay I went to New York for New Year's Eve as I told you in my previous episode and  I'd gotten so much  Advice over DMS. People were telling me where to go. Some people were discouraging me from going  You know oh, it's the worst time to go because it's so crowded it was crowded, but I felt like as long as I was staying away from the Times Square and All of that just that area in general.

It was perfectly fine We did stand in line quite a bit for For bagels ones, we went to Liberty Bagels. I found all these places on TikTok and I feel like the lines were  made off people who also found these places on TikTok, but yeah. And then we went to Levain, I think, I'm not sure how it's pronounced, for cookies and they were so good.

They're such good quality cookies and they're New York style, so very thick. I really like them. And then, yeah, we just walked around the West Village. There were so many health stores there and I found so much stuff. I bought LEMME.  Which is the Kourtney Kardashian's brand of supplements. I know it's not very good and she used a proprietary blend, which is basically where the exact amount and sources of ingredients are not disclosed so it's considered a lower quality and Potentially not functional.

I don't care. I just wanted to try it. I'm such a sucker for all the marketing tricks And yeah, when I saw it, I just knew I wanted to try it. I got two bottles. I got Lemmy Deep Load and Lemmy Chill, I think. I think they're fine. They taste fine. I obviously I've been taking them for three days and haven't noticed any difference.

But, I'll keep you updated. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna notice anything. But,  it is what it is. I'm gonna try. I finally got my hands on Armourer Colostrum.  I think here the, there's a store that sells it. Is it's probably the Breakfast Pantry. The one that sells all the unique stuff, but it's more expensive.

And also I don't want to, I don't want to bother and go there.  And I went to a lot of like health and wellness store in New York and it was so fun. It's like my Disneyland, I swear to God. Just like walking around, looking at all the health gadgets, all the supplements, all this stuff. It's so fun for me. I could live there.

And yeah, what can I say traveling and spending money and not working is pretty fun. Now I'm gonna lie If I could do that for longer periods of time I would but yeah time it's time to get back to reality But yeah, new york was really fun The only not fun part was the uber to the airport on new year's eve was 120 us dollars Which traumatized me a little bit, which was basically like, I don't know, not half, but like  It was a significant part of my budget because I only went for two days So I didn't have a big budget.

 Bottom line so worth it and I had an amazing time What else has been going on? Oh, i've been in a movie kick a friend of mine got me a cineplex card for christmas So i've been using it. I went to see two movies so far. I went to see baby girl with nicole kidman  Which was a disappointment.

I honestly thought it was really it was kind of bad  Because to me first of all, she has no appeal like she doesn't strike me as this like Femme Fatale,  if you know what I mean. And she and the guy had no chemistry, in my opinion. And I know they probably meant it that way. So it's basically about this woman, she's a CEO.

And there's this intern who's like  half  her age.  And he kind of pursues her, but not really. But she also like, lets him and encourages him maybe not consciously and she's married with kids and he's obviously not and they enter in this like sub dom relationship and it's a little awkward because he doesn't really know what he's doing and he's power playing and then she is not satisfied but also she doesn't know what she wants either and I know it's meant to be awkward but I don't know.

I just was not impressed with it and it was really weird It was like on the fetish side almost. So yeah, I don't know I saw some people like being very impressed with it. I personally was not so Yeah, that's what I think and then I went to see wicked which I heard was really good And I think it was good.

I think it was very well done and the I really liked the decorations and all the Yeah, how it's made, how it's made and all of the costumes and it was really well done.  I wouldn't go see it twice. I know some people who went to see it two, three times. I don't know, maybe I'm like this, I feel like you're getting an impression of me that I'm this like perpetually unimpressed person, which I kind of am, not gonna lie. 

But I do give credit when credit is due and I do think it's a fun entertaining movie. I just don't think it's Exceptional. I think it's very well done. But yeah, maybe I just don't have this strong like strong Feeling strong attachment to Wicked as a story. I don't know. But yeah, I would recommend it, but I wouldn't go see it again.

And also, I've been watching Sex and the City a lot because I was going to New York and I was kind of in the mood.  And yeah, it's just been playing in the background and it puts me in, put me made me more excited to go, even though I was, you know, Really excited already. But yeah,  that's what I've been doing and These are my updates for the week and let's dive into the topic that I wanted to talk to you about so  I have not shared much about this, but I have been involved in a situation with somebody who I know is not good for me and this person ended up occupying so much of my mental space and It's very easy for me to when I like somebody when I get excited about somebody I'm  tend to overthink everything and it just tends to occupy a lot of my mental space and What I have been doing for the past couple of years is practicing Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to stop myself from doing it because the more attention we pay to something in our brain,  the more it thinks it's important.

And  sometimes you internally, you assign importance to this person when they shouldn't have it. And sometimes it becomes a habit for the brain. And it becomes a go to thing to do. Just think about this person when in reality it's not even about them and it's not even about how great they are. But just because you're thinking so much about them, you start thinking that they are more important than they are.

I don't know if I'm making sense,  but it's kind of a kind of like a vicious circle where you think about them because it's a habit. And then because you think about him so much as a habit,  You start thinking and he's more important and that's what I noticed was happening And I just wanted to break the cycle And i'm just gonna talk to you about the techniques i've been practicing For the past couple of years whenever I find myself in a situation not necessarily It does not even necessarily have to apply to romantic relationships It can apply to anything that you feel like you're overthinking And when you are tired of just thinking about the same thing and you cannot get it off your mind These are the techniques that are helping me a lot.

So the first one would be just remove all the barriers Not I wouldn't call it a barrier remove all the reminders and all the access points for this Because you know how people say people think that people who are disciplined They're just really good at resisting temptations. But You This is one of my favorite things to talk about but disciplined people as a very disciplined person.

I can tell you it's 90 of your success is just not putting yourself in a situation where you will be tempted So if you want to eat something unhealthy, you don't keep Food in your house that is unhealthy. You make it as hard for yourself as it can be To get to unhealthy food and it's the same with a person if you're logging You Into instagram and you see their stories.

You see their reminders If  don't know you see their account popping up in your messages And all of that it's very hard to Resist that so just remove all of that. Just mute them for starters Just mute them if you can hide their messages mute their messages if they're texting you just try to remove all the reminders and Also, analyze what triggers you to start thinking about them.

Maybe it's a specific, I don't know, a show that you're watching, a song that you're hearing,  a place where you hang out, and try to avoid that. Because physically, removing the triggers, reminders, and all of that, Is honestly in this case, I think it's at least like 50 percent of success You still are going to think about them, but this is going to be so helpful And this is always the first thing that I do you don't have to unfollow them.

You don't have to block them Just maybe mute them and analyze what triggers you and just try not to do these things. Thing number two that you can do, it's based on the popular cognitive behavioral therapy technique that is called STOP, which does not quite work for me, that I mod so I modified it. So the Purpose of the technique is to physically, not physically, mentally, tell yourself stop every time you start thinking about this person or the situation.

And why it doesn't work for me specifically, I think because  you tell yourself stop and then your brain is kind of, your mind is blank. And all you can think about is okay, I'm not allowed to think about them. I'm not allowed to think about them. And like always, obviously you'll go back to thinking about them because your mind is blank and you don't know what to do. 

And the way I modify it, that makes it easier for me.  I come up with things that I am gonna think about every time after I say stop. So I don't have to think actively about it every time I, in the moment. So let's say I'm starting thinking about this person and I say stop and I decided that every time I say stop I'm gonna think about something marathon connected.

For example, I say stop and I think about, okay, the marathon  I need to buy this gel for my wrong gels for my long runs, or I visualize myself on the finish line, or I think about where I'm going to wear so having something that you can think about directly. Without having to wonder in the moment helps a lot So this is a technique that you can try just say stop and have a couple of things in mind That you can redirect your mind to if you find yourself this third technique is helpful if you find yourself Repeating repeatedly thinking about the same thing.

It's not just necessarily like a person popping up into your head. Maybe like it's a situation or  Conflict that you've had a fight And you find yourself thinking of comebacks that you might have used and all of that If it's if something that is very intrusive and it's a repeated thought just give yourself time to think about it Because maybe then you haven't fully processed it and that's also an important part of the process, right?

If you just tell yourself stop and not think about it Maybe you're not giving yourself enough time to actually figure out what's going on and how you feel So make sure you've done that before you  Use all of these techniques, but this one if you haven't if you haven't fully processed it I guess you can call it that  if you hadn't fully processed that just give yourself 10 minutes Maybe journal about it.

Maybe think about it. Maybe talk about it with someone maybe just Interview yourself about it. That's what I do to Create an impression for your mind that this is out. This is off your chest and You feel better Maybe not for  a few days, but for a couple of hours, if it does make you feel better, if it stops the intrusive thoughts then that's good enough for me. 

Next thing you could try is, this is for situations when you want to tell them something or message them and you know you shouldn't, and you know it's unproductive, and you know it's unnecessary, or even if, when they're not messaging you and you feel like, oh, I should message something because I want to talk to them, what can I say?

If you have something to say, if you have a fun thing that reminded you of them or like a fun meme, a fun video, send it to someone else. If something funny happened to you and you want to tell them, tell someone else. I'm sure you have more than this one person to talk to. They will be, if you have like other recipients of the memes and all the funny stuff and all the events that are happen, happening with you, you can easily share it with them and doesn't have to be this specific person.

And you can, you still get this fix of like sharing, but it's just not with this person.  And the final technique that I use, Is that it's just  letting yourself know that it's okay to think about it and think about them  if you just Sometimes you get tired of being strong and applying all of this, right?

Sometimes like I don't want to tell myself to stop because i'm tired i've done it 50 times today I cannot think about the marathon today anymore. Sometimes i've removed everything all the distractions all the reminders all the triggers Sometimes I've journaled about it already and I've done everything and I still think about them and then just Cut yourself some slack give yourself some grace and just say it's okay You're thinking about them because it is an important situation and it did affect you emotionally and it's still affecting you It's okay.

You don't have to react to this thought these thoughts. You don't have to feel anything just observe them and it's fine. They're just there and they're just with you and they're gonna go away because you're never gonna give them this much power anymore. So this is my last resort I would say that I use,  but it does help because sometimes we're fighting our thoughts too hard that  can have an opposite effect.

And I can tell you it's been helping  and it's been Just like it was a habit to think about them, it's going to become a habit not to. And I hope you will find it helpful too. I think I'm going to end it here. Happy start to the new year. My next episode is going to be about the five lessons from 2024.

I'm trying not to drag it out too much because it's already January 4th and I don't want to record my lessons for from 2024 in February. So that's probably going to be my next episode next week. And thank you for listening. I'll talk to you soon.