Why I Don’t Care if You Like Me (and Neither Should You)

This week, I’m chatting about the magic of finally not caring what other people think. From a hilariously awkward Pilates experience to navigating Black Friday temptations and gearing up for a quiet solo Christmas, it’s a mix of real talk and relatable moments. Plus, my take on why mobility work is humbling (and necessary) and whether the A Court of Thorns and Roses hype is actually worth it. Cozy up and tune in—it’s a Sunday morning chat you don’t want to miss.

Transcript

  Hello, hello, and welcome to the new episode. I'm recording this on a lovely Sunday morning.  Well, it's only lovely if you're inside. I was just outside to get my bone broth and it's so cold now. It's really winter. I'm very grateful that it's still sunny and there is no snow, but the wind is just insane and it's just so cold.

And I haven't brought out my winter jacket yet. I have to leave in an hour. I'm getting lunch with a friend. So I'm going to have to wear my winter jacket. Because it's just unbearable right now and Makes me sad, but also like it's great because it's december 1st that i'm recording this and  we still haven't had any snow Which makes me great, which makes it great because For those of you who don't know I hate the snow.

I can handle the cold. I can handle anything. I just hate the snow, especially when you have to walk and there's like slush. Oh, I don't want to think about this. So yeah, let's start with this podcast with a bit of gratitude. I am grateful for it being sunny. I am grateful for no snow. And for December 1st, it's pretty great. 

I don't feel like the Christmas spirit or anything, which is great because this Christmas I think I'm gonna be spending on my own  and Which is fine, but  I've never done this before. No, that's not true. Actually last year I was also alone for Christmas, but I wasn't alone for New Year's this year I think I'm gonna be alone for both which is honestly fine, and I'm gonna do a separate episode on this.

I Didn't want to get into this Again, but I know a lot of people have problems with it. I have a problem dealing with it because it's such a Family, friends, community time, and if you don't have anyone to spend these days with, it can feel pretty lonely, it can cause you to reconsider your whole life, but yeah.

I don't want to get into this because I think it's going to be my next episode, because Christmas is getting closer, but yeah.  Lovely Sunday morning, very grateful.  And let's get into it today. I wanted to talk about the importance of like not caring what other people think about you. And this week has been very interesting for me in terms of realizing that I really don't care and what I've been working towards.

For many years to actually not care if I'm, if people like me, it's finally, it's finally happened and it's so great. I was at this birthday party earlier this week and I met a lot of new people. And they just realized, not that I'm a dick to people on purpose, like not at all, I'm obviously always nice, but I'm just unapologetically myself.

And I like what I like, I don't like what I don't like. And again, it's not like if I don't like something, it means it's objectively horrible and nobody can like anything. But I'm just saying, I'm just voicing my opinion, and I don't care if people agree with me. We were talking about this, about soulless Pilates.

It's this new studio  in downtown and I was always seeing it a lot on tiktok and everybody's like raving about it to Be fair. I've only done a math class there, but the math class was disgusting. I'm, sorry It was they didn't wipe the mats Usually for hot pilates, they don't allow using like communal mats because it's gross, like your sweat is dripping all over, but okay, they did, and it smelled horrible, and then it was, the class was super overcrowded, it was probably like 40 people,  and it was a hot class.

And they didn't even wipe the mats off, and I thought it was disgusting. And I was talking to this girl, and she was like, Oh, I go to Solace, and I was like, Oh, cool. I thought it was, like, I personally didn't like it. And I think she was a little thrown off by this because she said she liked it. But again, it's this ability to hold two different opinions. 

In your head and not thinking that the other person is a bad person for not agreeing with you, right?  If you like it, great. I personally didn't and to be fair again, like I didn't try the reformer classes This girl was talking about the reformer So maybe she wouldn't have liked the math class either.

But yeah And I didn't get the vibe that she particularly liked me or Better say we didn't hit it off and like in a friendly way and I was so fine with it because before a few years ago. We totally have been like, oh my god. I'm so sorry No, of course, like it's great I would try to somehow make up for having a different opinion and Now I realize that I really don't care and again doesn't mean you're a bad person or you're a dick to people It just means that that This is who I am.

This is what I like. Take it or leave it. And I'm kind of fine with it. And, yeah, the older I get, the more I realize that.  I really don't care. And this has been a revelation to me  and it made me  feel, I don't know, accomplished in a way, because this is what I've been working towards because in the past I cared too much about what other people think to the point where it restricted me from doing. 

The things that I liked and that I want wanted to do because in high school My girlfriends would make fun of me when I would do something different from what they wanted or what they liked And I would express a preference or wear something different. That was not  quote unquote accepted by the by them and I think this affected me a lot and for many years I've been trying to eradicate this from my mind and now I think I finally have so yeah, it's a kind of like, kind of big for me, but yeah, anyway, this week has been full of temptation because it's Black Friday  and I, I swear to God, I cannot see any more Black Friday deals, I can't, not because, because this year I literally cannot buy anything because I just bought an air purifier that I told you about.

And it was expensive. And the only thing, the only thing, the other thing that I bought was a laser hair removal package, which again, they're not cheap, but I was, I don't know if I told you about my experience, but  I'm blonde. So not every machine will work on my hair. So I wasted a year doing laser on this other machine that was not working.

And then I went to a different clinic and they were like, yeah, this machine would never work on you because it doesn't work on that type of hair. So I started doing. Bikini just to try it out and to see if this new machine works and it did i'm kind of like halfway done I think i'm six or seven sessions in and it's already working.

It's not perfect, but I see the results So now I got a package for full legs and i'm gonna do it now And yeah, this was not cheap. It was good for black friday and for what it is But yeah, so i'm not allowed to do any more friday shopping So I don't want to see any deals and I need so many things and i'm so tempted but i've been good I've been really really good with it.

And whenever whenever I see something I know Abercrombie has  A sale and my friend just got a lot of things from there.  It's really tough, but It's fine. I'm holding on  to my principles. I cannot buy anything.  I want to travel next year, and I have a lot of other plans. And yeah, I want to do something nice for myself for Christmas.

So, I am being strong, and I cannot do anything. But guys, message me what you bought for Black Friday, because I'm so curious. Because I wanted I want a red light therapy mask. I still don't have one. I want an infrared sauna blanket. I want so many things Actually might do in one of my newsletters. I might do like a Christmas wish list Because another thing that I'm doing the thing that is probably gonna really be released tomorrow which is December 2nd because I want people to have it  well in time before Christmas and It's gonna be a Toronto gift guide, but this is a Toronto specific Guide with wellness gifts that you can buy to support Toronto businesses So that is something that I've been working on But yeah, I should actually do like a wish list of the things that would be great for Christmas, huh?

That's a great idea Okay, so that's I'm gonna do so Yeah being strong for Black Friday in terms of working out and stuff I've been doing a lot of agree as I said before many many times I want to take a month off and And I'm only lifting once a week now, just to not to lose any muscle. But I mostly do mat pilates and legree, just to de stress my body.

Because I feel like after high rocks  and after doing so much dancing, I still am very stressed and I've overworked. And yeah, I just need to relax and de stress and Also work on my mobility and flexibility  And yeah, that's what i've been doing and it's been fun. It's growing on me. It's and honestly, I That's how I realized that i've been doing too much before because I did  my lifting session yesterday And I was so excited to do it.

I'm normally never excited. It feels like a chore but just because I haven't Done it the whole week and it was my first time in the week doing this I was so excited  and I think it's a good sign for me that i'm doing the right thing  De stressing and just relaxing and taking it easy  And yeah pilates is growing on me.

I Am not expecting obviously any muscle growth because it's not how it works, but I think it's good for what it is For mobility and core strength, especially and I think it's gonna be good for me. I've also been doing it's so funny guys I've been doing flexibility classes  and  I was doing this class where they do splits.

I don't want to do splits, but It's good for just to develop general flexibility I don't think i'm gonna get to splits because i'm literally like a grandma and I have no flexibility. I swear to god And this girl who was teaching it she was Going we were holding a pose and she was going around correcting people's form and helping them go deeper And I'm there like barely touching the floor.

Like I'm just so bad because you have been lifting forever and Not stretching properly and this is on me and I take full responsibility. But yeah now I'm literally the worst in class She says no like use the props use the blocks. I have to use like three or four blocks  And everybody else is using one or two and none and I have to use so many just to be able to hold the form Properly because I literally have zero flexibility and this girl is going around correcting people and with other people She's like, okay.

See you can go deeper. Yeah. Oh, this is great. Like yeah, see how much deeper you got like nice correction whatever she Gets to me and she's like she tries to Bend me further and she's like, ooh, that's tight and she just leaves and it was so funny because Just makes me realize how much work there is to do.

But yeah, I'll get there. I'll get there. It's not intimidating to me It's just funny and I do realize the importance of it and my hamstrings are so tight and my back is so tight Like honestly, there is not a single Thing in my body that is not tight and it's just sad. But yeah, I'll get there I honestly I do have less like tension in my body since I started doing it  and Yeah, I think it's gonna work out great.

It's just a testament of Guys, please don't neglect Mobility and flexibility work because this is so important Okay, what else, what else has been happening? Oh, yeah,  I've been reading Akhatar and I feel like this should be a separate episode But I don't know guys. I don't know if I'm buying it I'm almost done with the second book now and I don't know first of all,  I was promised  Extremely like steamy hot scenes. 

There hasn't, haven't been any  Okay, like, in the first book, there was a couple, but they were like meh.  And in the second book, like, I'm literally like 65 percent in, I think. And there hasn't been one. I know it's, there's, like, it's building up to it,  but I wouldn't characterize them as smutty. And steamy so far.

I don't know and then I really like the first book in terms of like it being entertaining I'm, honestly not super impressed with like the love story and I don't know It's cute and whatever and it's I think what i'll give it to her It's written. She wrote it in a very nice way in the way that it flows really good and It's very easy to read and it's entertaining.

So, not gonna lie, like, I, I, I'm not hating it. I'm just saying,  and I was looking forward to, like, reading it at night. And even now, I'm not even, like, watching any shows. And I haven't been watching that many TikToks as I normally do. I've been looking forward to having a time off screen and reading. And I'll give it, I'll give it that.

Getting me, getting me off TikTok is not that easy and yeah, it's great. But  again, I'm not, I feel like I'm not getting what I was promised. And the second book, what I don't like about it, first of all, I think the main character,  Fyra, I think this is how you pronounce it, I'm not sure. I kind of hate her. 

I think she's a prick and I don't think she should have left.  I'm sorry if that's a spoiler But I feel like i'm so late to the party you guys would if you're into it, you would know everything about it  I don't think she should have left. They've never had a proper discussion. They both are clearly traumatized and like had they Lived in the modern world.

I would be like go to couple therapy because you guys clearly love each other You just have disagreements and now it's all about like history and like preparing for the war And I'm less about that because I'm not like a fantasy book person. I'm I was trying to get into it for like love and drama and there is not that much of it and I don't particularly care for all these like wars and battles and all of that and it's giving Game of Thrones now and this is the exact reason why I stopped watching Game of Thrones because it was too much war and not enough like human relationships and I feel the same way here.

So yeah, the second book I actually like, I'm not super impressed with. But it's still it's still good enough to keep me entertained. That's how I would say it I need also like I feel like there is so much  Info around it and there is like  all this like inside Opinions and all of that stuff that i'm not aware of there's a whole world that i'm not aware of and i'm i'm on purpose Not watching any tiktoks because I don't want any spoilers And also because i'm scared to dive into it because there is So much there is five or six books I think and I'm honestly like scared.

But yeah, this is where I'm at with with Akatar And we'll see how that goes And I think that's all I have to you for you for today and i'll see you in the next episode